6 months and counting...

Can you believe that 6 months had already passed since we broke up? And can you even believe that 6 months had already passed and I'm still going ga-ga on what to do about this heart-wrenching pain that keeps on coming back again and again. Oh God, I really don't know what to do anymore. I tried everything and I mean everything that I can do just to get over him and this stupid past relationship but I still end up crying. I did what wasn't really the common things a girl should do when faced with this kind of heartbreak which are the following:

1. No Grudge - From the start, I made a promise to him and myself that I would not and will not hold any grudge on him. Though there are times that I feel like I want to hit him and shout at his face which fortunately I cannot and hopefully will  not do . Good luck to him and to me if I explode - boom. But God said, harden not your hard and that is all I want to do.

2. Ignored the OTHER woman - I could say that I have second thoughts on why I did this but then I know I did what was right, maybe not in the eyes of the many but in the eyes of God. There are lot of times that I despised the OTHER woman than my ex-boyfriend, and I guess that's just the normal reaction of anyone who lost something precious that supposedly belonged to her. This was really very hard to control, even until now, I still don't like to see that elderly-faced curly-haired woman. She's lucky I didn't confront her, I really cannot imagine myself if that would happen. I didn't make a fool out of myself and thank God; but if I hear a word about her talking about me, then a fight she wants, a fight she gets.

3. Mouth-zipped. Even if my world was in topsy-turvy and I wanted to let it out, I kept everything in silent thinking that this is the way I can get over him. But NO, they said you have to let it out, but then if I let it out my friends would say I still haven't got over him yet. So I decided to be stay mummed about any subjects about him and it did worked for my friends side since they thought I'm okay now, but deep inside everything is just ready to burst but I don't know to whom I should let it out. I know my friends are tired of listening to me, I'm even tired of myself. So I have no choice, I'm trying to be strong because that is what they expect me to be. I'm afraid this I might have a breakdown or something.

4. Trust in God. I put everything in God's hands now, I truly believe that this is what He has planned for me; though I might not understand it but I put all my trust in Him. I know one thing for certain is that He has greater plans for me and He doesn't want me to make a mistake I might really regret, and that is why this has happened. Everything has a reason, I know it's for the best, I just have to learn how to accept it fully with arms wide open.