It worked but wait...

OMG... It worked and I'm referring to my article about how to get back at your ex/get your ex back. When I started that article I wanted to get my ex back but then as days passed I was in doubt since maybe we were really not meant to be. Well, there's no harm in trying since in both ways it would lead me to somewhere that I hoped would make me happy. 

I re-activated my Facebook already, and guess what right immediately he added me as a friend which I completely ignored then "Poke" me there which I also ignored. I was surprised that he sent me a message in one of my gmail account, saying that he doesn't know what to say, he's ashamed of himself, and that I looked blooming in my Facebook picture (Yeaaah, indeed I am!) He also asked if he can be my friend. Again I ignored him. He messaged again, saying that he's sorry that our break-up was not a good one and said that he is ready to talk to me if it's alright with me now but if not then he totally understands because it was his fault and all. IGNORED.

Actually I was confused, since in the first place I was the one telling him that we can be friends and I'll wait when he's ready to face me again, since forcing him is really not a good idea at all but now here I am ignoring him because:

1. PROVE IT! 

Okay, I wanted to know if he really is sincere and true about making friends with me. I don't want to expect that he'll come back to me now because it will just hurt me again. I wanted to see him making more effort than just messages, he knows where I live and work, my number and etc. It's not like we live in different world, we have lots of common friends, and all. 

2. HELLO PRIDE!

God knows how much I tried before just to get him back, I did everything I can and swallowed all my pride but he just ignored me completely. Like hello? It hurts! So now I was thinking, it's my turn. I want him to feel the pain that he had inflicted on me before. 

3. FEAR 

I'm afraid to hear what he'll say. Okay, so I have accepted it but I'm not that strong yet, I'm still at the beginning of accepting it, and I don't want to feel the pain again. Please no more! Though I wanted a proper closure, but knowing that he chose the girl rather than me it is still a big slap on my face. I don't want to expect that he'll come back to me also because I'm not ready and what if he'll not say that. For now, maybe I want us to be friends but I know it's quite difficult also, I have to be strong and I know that but how?

My mind was already fixed that I should ignore him for the stated reasons above. But then, my cousin told me that I should face him now because I might regret it later. My mind just snapped at that instance, Oh no! I'm so confused, I mean why can't he just leave me alone, I was getting better already and starting to live my life without him. Why is he coming back now? What is he planning? Should I face him once and for all or should I ignore him and wait until I'm ready? I really don't want to be in a dilemma again, I had already conquered it before and I don't want to be in pain again.

I chatted some of my friends and his friends and it was more of a tie; some said ignore him that's what he deserves while others said face him now just don't expect anything but in the end it is still up to me. I was so hard, I'm confused and afraid but I had to be strong I know that. I asked God for guidance and it was in my heart. I had to face him now, if this is to put an end to our relationship then okay I accept since this is what I wanted before, it's now or never. I mean it's better now than feel the pain again in the future, I know it will hurt me but not that much I guess; I just need to be strong - I'll ask God for courage and strength. As they said there is only a beginning when there is an ending. To be able to start my new beginning I have to end this properly NOW. They asked me what if he wants me back. To be honest, I still loved him but as of now I don't think it's the right time yet. I have forgiven him, but forgetting about it is different. If he does then he has to prove it to me.