Losing someone could really be dreadful especially if you were not willing to give him up but had lost hope in trying since no matter how you tried to hold on to it, there's really nothing you can do if it is only you who is holding on. The sad part of losing that someone is that it is not only your relationship that is broken but also the friendship that you two have shared for months and even years. And you feel that you lost not only your lover but your bestfriend, your soulmate, and almost your everything; and you just can't imagine what the world could be without him anymore. Why is life so cruel? *Sigh.
Well, nobody said that life is easy, one must experience hardships and trials in life to be able to measure one's strengths and weaknesses. Life maybe hard, but everything lies in your hands, you are the only one who can control it. If you think that your life after the break-up will be dull, gloomy and meaningless then it will be, as they say 'What you think, You become".
So instead of sulking and crying in bed all day, thinking what went wrong and asking all the endless WHYs; you must try to help yourself to stand up again, it really won't be easy but you just got to try each day. Just take small steps but don't rush things, take it one step at a time.
A tip from Amelie is to imagine yourself 20 to 30 years from now, imagine you are talking to your child or grandchild now, such a lovely child with a sweet smile in his/her face. You are telling him/her about your life story saying "I had a great life because ..... now you fill in the blank. This process a beginning of goal setting which she calls working backwards. Just continue imagining your life ahead, what you want to achieve, where you want to be. Do you see yourself in the future still lying in bed helpless and lifeless or do you see yourself enjoying life with your family and friends, having a good career and with someone with no face wrapping his arms around you?
I have lost my best friend, though I have other close friends but it's just not the same. He was someone I can turn to anytime even at midnight or wee hours in the morning, he was someone I can share my problems with openly and share almost just anything that pops out in my mind, he knows everything about me and vice versa. I really missed my old friend so much that there are nights that I wanted to contact him because I have no one to talk too about this and that; I just end up crying. I tried to fight for our relationship, when it didn't turned out the way I wanted it to be; I tried to fight again for our friendship this time. I don't know maybe it's just an alibi to get him back; it's like starting all over again as friends then more than friends. I really don't know my intentions at that moment, all I wanted was him. I wanted to be friends with him, we had an agreement before that no matter what happens will be BFF 'Best Friends Forever" which honestly is hard to accept now that we're in this situation. Okay so I had to get myself together again and bury the pass, slowly very slowly I'm trying to get over it but honestly until now I haven't. Sometimes I can say to myself that I'm okay now, but then the next thing I'm crying all over again. Stupid me. We'll at least I'm trying, it's better than just thinking about all the how's and why's that would make me cry. I tried imagining my future, I can see myself happy; happy with my family, friends, career and even with someone who has no face. Who that guy is, I really don't know. I just know that I want to be happy again, and someday I will be and that is what I will promise to myself.
As for Amelie's tip, I could say my life was great because ... I have YOU, I have met someone who loves me so dearly, I had traveled around the country and soon the world, I had a good career, and I have survived the struggles in life because I chose to be happy.
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